Please Let The ‘Raccoon Attacks Drunk Man Driving Car’ Be True
There's a story out of San Diego about a drunk sailor who came out of a bar, too drunk to get his breathalyzer-equipped car started, so he captured a raccoon in a nearby park, squeezed the raccoon's breath into the device and got his ride rolling.
The squeeze-move put on the raccoon left it unconscious, so the sailor tossed it to the floor of his vehicle.
Eventually, the raccoon awoke. And attacked. Wow.