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Schwarzenegger Movies Are Losing Millions. Is Hollywood Broken?

Draft Day sucked it up big time this weekend at the box office. A movie about Kevin Costner and the Cleveland Browns was a dud? Who saw that coming?

Arnold Schwarzenegger has had back to back to back duds but keeps churning out the crap like the maid is watching. His 3 latest films have lost some major coin. The Last Stand had a budget of 45 million dollars and made under 13 million. Escape Plan had a 50 million dollar budget and made about half of that. This film featured 80’s royalty Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone attempting to escape from a retirement home. Actually, it was prison. Though the retirement angle seems more realistic. His latest “film” Sabotage had a 35 million dollar budget and made just under 10 million. So, the last 3 Arnold Schwarzenegger films have lost over 60 million dollars. He’s so easy to understand and was a box office draw 20 years ago it leads me to believe Hollywood is broken.

Is it the acting? He plays the same guy iin every movie. Is it the same story we’ve seen made into 20 different movies? I think it’s the voice-over announcers. Sounding constipated has paid off for years. How many times can a man whisper “In a world” into the microphone and get great results? About 4 years ago, the great movie trailer announcer Don LaFontaine passed away. Since then, everyone has tried to sound like him with their movie trailer delivery. Here is Don and his genius.

We no longer have Don LaFontaine to make the crappy movies sound good. We do have an untapped resource though. To help the box office get their mo jo back, my idea is to have all theatrical trailers read in the voice of Bullwinkle for the next 2 years. I think it would get people back to the movies and get people to appreciate constipated sounding announcers again. Here is Bullwinkle doing the trailer for a popular 10 year-old movie.

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