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Spousal Prank Paybacks

What my speedometer looked like as I passed a cop on Aurelius Rd.

I tend to go out of my way to say and do things just to get a reaction from others, and nobody is immune to it. Gags, pranks, one-liners, and riddles are all fair game in my mind. That is, until it is done unto me!!!

On my way to work today, I passed a Lansing Police officer on Aurelius Road near Forest Road. Naturally, what does one do as they cross paths with a law authority? They check the rear-view for brake lights, and check the speedometer. Well, I saw brake lights as I traveled south over the crest of a hill. Then, I looked down to see the needle hovering over 70!!!

Needless to say, I felt like I was on the wrong end of a Ron Jeremy film as my heart jumped into my throat, beating like mad on my tonsils. Seriously? 70 in a 35? The last I checked, there’s jail time and license revocation penalties for that!! So, of course, as any person with a guilty conscience would do, I promptly turned onto the nearest side street, just to see if those brake lights were intended for me. In honor of the Daytona 500 this weekend, I did some mirror driving down Provincial House Drive, then glanced down to look at my speed once again…40!!! I think to myself, “40? In a 25? It doesn’t feel like I’m going that fast? Is it because it’s warm out and it makes driving feel that much different? Am I losing my mind???! Have I lost control of my sanity???!! Is this out-of-control feeling a panic attack?????!!!!!!! I need my Xanax!!!!!!! Ok…breathe, stop sign!!” As I yielded, I see no lights in my mirror, much to my surprise. “Man, that must have been one busy cop…” I thought. Then, I started to wonder when the LeSabre began to have that much pick-up speed.

You see, this story really began when my lovely lady Laurie took the car to the store earlier. The dashboard has lots of menus and buttons, to change various displays and gauges. One of those is labeled “ENG/MET”. Look at the posted picture closely. Did you notice the kM/h light lit at the bottom right of the speedometer?? Neither did I!!! 70 kilometers per hour…that’s right around 40 miles per hour. I pressed that button, and I’ll tell you what…what a feeling of relief when that speedo-needle dropped like Bette Midler at the end of “The Rose”. Good one, babe!! I guess I kind of had that one coming to me after the loosened ketchup cap!!

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