Cage Free Turkey: What's Next For Michigan's Now 'Dolly Pardon'?

What do you name a bird who is spared the fate of becoming Thanksgiving dinner? That's the annual question posed to Michigan residents, and with over 3,900 entries, we have once again proven our knack for sarcasm.

Related: Detroit Thanksgiving Parade History: Story Behind Michigan's Big Heads

Showing that our knack for fowl play (pun intended without shame) when given an opportunity, for ironic dubbing, the fine state of Michigan named this year's turkey: Dolly Pardon. Yes, my friend. That. Just. Happened.

What's Next for Michigan's Newly Free 'Dolly Pardon'

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If I were on Dolly Pardon's management team (I'm not but we should be working together Dolly, call me) I'd suggest riding this 15-minute wave of fame to an appearance on Big Brother. Though reality TV has been a successful stepping stone for many, I'd recommend (if hired, call me Dolly) steering clear of the following shows:

Hell's Kitchen
Survivor
Hot Ones
Top Chef
Chopped
Naked and Afraid (unless feathers grow back...)

These shows are cut-throat (not sorry) and are stuffed with stress, like a pressure cooker. That type of stress isn't good for the winner of Michigan's Thanksgiving Hunger Games.

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Hollywood is a tough place Dolly Pardon you're going to have to sit through a lot of uncomfortable dinners where you're treated like a piece of meat, but just dig in and peck right through it.

Related: Meijer to Michigan: Turkey Prices Are High, Offering 1930s Pricing

Stuffing as many opportunities into this 15 minutes is vital Dolly Pardon but, while others will baste you in unnecessary appearances, where you simmer for hours in a cramped dressing room and only have 30 seconds onscreen, I promise (if hired) to keep you out of the frying pan and the fire. Call me Dolly.

Black Friday Bargains: 60 Deals That Offer Real Savings

It's here! Black Friday 2023 is on the horizon and as any well-prepped shopper knows, some Black Friday sales don't offer the tremendous savings that is hyped. True saving sleuths like to see the math, before parting with their hard-earned money. Here's a look at 60 deals offered by 12 of the country's largest retailers where the savings can be seen according to the financial gurus at WalletHub.

Gallery Credit: Scott Clow

Inside Detroit, Michigan's Parade Company Warehouse

Detroit's Parade Company is the keeper of Detroit's iconic Big Heads and the magnificent floats featured in America's Thanksgiving Day Parade on the streets of Woodward Avenue and on television sets across the United States. Here's a behind-the-scenes look at the Parade Companies Warehouse.

Gallery Credit: Scott Clow

Christmas Magic: The REAL 1225 Polar Express in Ashley, Michigan

Saturdays and Sundays beginning in mid-November through mid-December, the Village of Ashley, Michigan transforms into the North Pole and welcomes the Steam Railroading Institute's 1225, the Original North Pole Express, and inspiration for the iconic Christmas movie, the Polar Express.