Michigan Parents: You Hate Your Kids Unless You’re Raising Them Here
Well, surprise, surprise - look what one Michigan city landed among "The 100 Best Cities to Raise a Family in America".
Of course it's Ann Arbor. What else would it be?
If Michigan was a classroom, Ann Arbor would be the teacher's pet - a smarmy know-it-all, always overachieving and annoying all the rest of us.
What's So Great About Ann Arbor?
StudyFinds.com lists Ann Arbor as the #1 "Best Place to Live in America".
U.S. News & World Report ranked it as the "Best Place to Live in Michigan".
WalletHub says Ann Arbor is the "Most Educated City in America".
HOLD ON, WAIT A MINUTE: University of Michigan Campus Is Most Violent in America
We could go on and on (and Ann Arbor would probably like that), but we think you get the idea. They're obviously much better than the rest of us peons.
You Hate Your Kids Unless You Raise Them in Ann Arbor
There are countless reasons why you should raise your family in Ann Arbor.
Ann Arbor Kids Are Better Looking
Kids raised in Ann Arbor are simply more photogenic. No one likes ugly kids like you find in Saginaw or Kalamazoo. If you want your children to grow up and be physically attractive, you must raise them in Ann Arbor.
Ann Arbor Kids Are Better Singers
Have you ever heard the children's choir at Ann Arbor Academy? Voices of angels. So much better than the demon spawn you'll find in Flint or Battle Creek.
Ann Arbor Kids Are Better Dressed
The fashion sense of youngsters brought up in Ann Arbor is beyond compare. Crop tops? Ripped jeans? We'll not have that in Ann Arbor, thank you very much. What do you think this is, Grand Rapids? Psh.
Ann Arbor Kids Are the Smartest
Kids raised in Ann Arbor are so smart that many of them graduate high school before their primary teeth even fall out. Ann Arbor doesn't raise dummies like Lansing and Midland.
Ann Arbor Kids Smell Better
Try it next time you're at a concert. Catch a whiff of someone who just smells great? Ask them:
"Pardon me, miss, but I couldn't help but notice that you smell absolutely amazing!"
"Thanks! I'm from Ann Arbor." Never fails. She obviously wasn't going to say Jackson.
Not Fortunate Enough to Be Able to Raise Your Family in Ann Arbor?
"The 100 Best Cities to Raise a Family in America" are below.
It's okay if you roll your eyes at #9. We are.
LOOK: These are the 100 best cities to raise a family