Last week, 25 year old William J Cornelius Junior asked a Bay City Wal-Mart employee to read the marriage proposal he’d penned to his 20 year old girlfriend. She said, “Yes!” – awwww! Everyone stood around and clapped as they hugged and kissed. Bought his lady an engagement ring there for $29.62.

Soon after, the newly engaged duo went to the Bay City Mall to celebrate, maybe see a movie. At least that’s what she told police after they were arrested for shoplifting jewelry and sex toys.

Police got a report from employees at Spencers accusing Cornelius and his wife-to-be of stealing several things from them. Police found her walking by herself in the mall and questioned her.

They eventually found Cornelius in the mall food court, where he had apparently fallen asleep while tying his shoes. They woke him from his nappy and searched him; found items on him that had allegedly been lifted from the novelty store, including a watch, an edible thong, sex candy and a ‘back massager’. Cornelius, who was on probation at the time, was charged with retail fraud on Tuesday. has all the gritty details here, while the Smoking Gun has a slightly different version of the story. Both are entertaining as well.

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