When Holidays Don't Feel Like Holidays

Obviously this year has changed the way a lot of things go when it comes to various celebrations, however, I think the holidays this year have really taken a hit and it makes me sad and nervous for what is to come.

Thinking back to when this whole pandemic mess first started, we all were supposed to be staying home when Easter came around.

For my family, Easter is not really one of the holidays we go "all out" for but it felt extremely different because I was living and quarantining with my boyfriend and his family and decided to not spend it at my parent's house as my mom works at a hospital.

Then came days like the Fourth of July and most recently, Halloween.

Over the years I have felt that magical feeling you get when you wake up on a holiday slipping away and it has made me sad. However, Halloween was kind of a slap in the face this year that things really were different.

Jordan and I found ourselves still in quarantine, 10 months into this year, and there was just an ominous feeling in the air, not in a fun "spooky season" kind of way either.

As I tried and tried and tried to do everything I could to make it feel like Halloween, all it did was just remind me how depressing things have been this year.

I watched "Rocky Horror" like I do every year but I watched it by myself, without my mom and I shouting and singing along like you're supposed to. I made a wine and cheese board out of some fancy "vampire cheese" we got and even watched some of my favorite Halloween movies from my childhood.

I realize as you become an adult, that feeling of giddy excitement for holidays fades but it's just so damn sad it has to be that way.

It makes me sad as we venture into my favorite time of the year with my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving, to kick it all off.

Now, I know I shouldn't be already sad or disappointed by something that hasn't happened yet but if I approach it that way, that makes it less surprising and depressing when it actually turns out that way? Or I'll be pleasantly surprised!?

This year has just really broken down any and all "warm fuzzies" I've had and as a very "glass half-full" kind of person who always tries to be optimistic and fun, it's hard to truly feel that get drained out of me.

So, if anyone has any suggestions on how to get any holiday spirit back, I am all ears because right now I am about two seconds from putting up my Christmas crap!