Open Letter To Winter Storm Elliott
Thank you for ensuring that mid Michigan will have a white Christmas. I have wanted one of these for many years. Your arrival is just in time.
I have lived in Michigan most of my life. I grew up on Lake Michigan and had a white Christmas every year. I am not compaining about your arrival or the snow that will be coming along with you. I do have a few things to get off my chest.
Although we are going to get a lot of snow and there will be blizzard like conditions, we will all be ok if we work together. Some of my fellow humans have pillaged shelves at the grocery store because they feel like we will be snowed in for the rest of our lives. I have told them that temps are climbing back up into the forties next week but they felt the need to take the last two twelve packs of toilet paper at the store leaving the person behind them without any. If you need more then 12 rolls of TP over two - two and a half days (if that) then you might want to see a doctor. Of course that all depends on how many people are at your place.
I will love the snow that you are bringing Elliott. I will drive accordingly, will stay off the roads when it gets bad and when I am in four wheel drive I WILL NOT DRIVE LIKE AN A-HOLE.
I will check on my neighbors well being, most importantly the elderly. I will clear paths for those that need a path cleared. I will do my part to battle your snow that you are bringing.
While your time in mid Michigan will be brief, Elliott, we will do our best to counter you. The road crews have had more than enough notice to get out and counter your snowfall before you arrive.
Elliott I do ask that you be kind to our residents and power grid. A lot of people are going to be pissed off if you make us lose power, don't do it dude. We've been throught that before and we don't like it.
Elliott, you've got quite the reputation. Please go easy on us on your chaotic path. Roads are one thing, losing power is a competely different demon that we don't want to deal with, make sure it doesn't happen.
Merry White Christmas, go easy big fella,