Wisconsin needs brains. So, zombie Wisconsinites are obviously shipping them in from Canada. How do we know this? Allow me to quote the Detroit Free Press: "U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers seized a human brain in an international mail truck that crossed the Blue Water Bridge in Port Huron last week."

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The shipment was bound for Kenosha, Wisconsin. Sure, it was labeled “Antique Teaching Specimen” - but I'm sure it was just a test run for the "Zombie Foodies of Wisconsin" or whoever ordered it off Amazon. Somebody obviously figured nobody would check their mason jar full of brains as it went across U.S. 2 in the U.P.

This isn't the first weirdo stop the U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers have made recently. Last year they stopped a Khapra beetle from getting into Michigan. And last May they stopped "ancient Egyptian mummy linens" from entering Michigan. Great. That's all we need in Michigan - bad roads AND naked mummies.

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