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Shooting Holes in the Plot of “Frosty the Snowman.”

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Each year I watch “Frosty” and more questions arise about this “classic.” When you get older you see things for what they really are. So, let’s examine this in great detail. Deb and I broke it down on the air. If you want to hear the conversation, listen here.

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1. Who hired this obvious pervert magician “Professor Hinkle” and allowed him around children? It’s clear he came to the class unprepared and on something. He is considered a joke among “REAL” magicians everywhere. You don’t even want to say his name around David Copperfield. His mustache should have raised red flags. Creep.

2. Why is there school on Christmas Eve? What kind of parent allows their child to go to school on Christmas Eve and subjects them to perverted, unprepared magicians with creepy mustaches? I’ll tell you who- BAD PARENTS. (We’ll come back to this.)

3. Someone needs to take the rabbit “Hocus Pocus” behind the barn. The little bastard stole the magician’s hat off his head and gave it to the children. Then the narrator is quick to cover it up saying that Hinkle threw it away so it belonged to the kids. Great, teach kids to steal. Then lie to cover it up. Classic.

4. Why is little Karen not wearing any pants? Seriously, through the entire show she isn’t wearing pants. What kind of parent sends their child to school with no pants? I’ll tell you who BAD PARENTS! Trusting a pantless child around an obvious pervert magician. Call child services!

5. That police officer directing traffic was easily rattled. Seriously? One talking snowman walks by and he swallows his whistle. This man’s competency should be called into question.

6. Little Karen tries to get Frosty to the North Pole in one day? From any state in the union this would be difficult. Yet we are led to believe this penniless little girl could hobo a train, take time to get warm in the forest with animals, who start a fire (what would Smokey say?), watch Frosty die then get reanimated by Santa. Then she’s has Santa drop her off on her roof? Very irresponsible Santa! It had to be close to midnight. There are some serious timeline issues with this “classic.”

Plus, if your little girl came home at midnight on Christmas Eve claiming Santa had dropped her off… What would you say to her? It seems like it should have ended with Karen’s mother screaming “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” That, I can believe. I blame the parents. JP-

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