For the most part, we all can't stand Ohio.

I think as a state, Michigan is unified on a few things.

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Our utter disgust for the buckeye state comes to mind. Sure you might find a few bad eggs here and there who might like Ohio, but for the most part Spartans, Wolverines, girl scouts, monks, even babies can't stand that state. Or their school.

Ohio State logo
Ohio State University

We're together on that one.

I'm here to discuss another subject though.

When did we decide to have all out war on a couple of things? Well not things but words.

Show me on the doll where they hurt you.

I'll start off with the easy one first.

Look at this picture.

Chipotle Stock Plunges 14 Percent To 5-Year Low After Weak Earnings Report
Getty Images

Now say it. Say it out loud.

My fellow Michiganders if you pronounced that word "CH-POLE-TAY", you are the reason I'm here today. And you're DOING IT WRONG.

SIphotography/Getty Images
SIphotography/Getty Images

I can't tell you how many restaurants I've been in, grocery stores, and even the actual restaurant itself where I've heard us (and yes, this one is PURE MICHIGAN with me) butcher this word.

How did we even get CH-POLE-TAY out of CHIPOTLE. That doesn't even make sense. Look at it. I'd even settle for us saying CH-POT-TLE.

Nope. Here in Michigan that word is pronounced CH-POLE-TAY. It drives me insane whenever I hear us say it that way.

And for the record party people, it's pronounced CH-POAT-LAY.

Exactly what did Italy do to you to deserve this?

This next one is maddening. And I swear it's a Michigan thing but folks say it's also very southern.

Let's begin.

What's this?

Secret Button on Back of iPhone
Photo by blocks on Unsplash

This group is?


This flag for this country is?

Photo by Michele Bitetto on Unsplash
Photo by Michele Bitetto on Unsplash

The food that comes from there is considered what?

Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash
Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash

If you said spaghetti...ok...

Let's try this again. What kind of dressing is this?

McConnell Adams TSM Lansing
McConnell Adams TSM Lansing

My fellow Michiganders if you said EYE-TALIAN, you're the reason why we're here.

You don't call the country EYE-taly do you?

Then why do you call the food and things from there EYE-talian?

Please stop doing this. And trust me, ITALIANS HATE IT. They really, really hate it. Some folks find it downright derogatory.

It's #5 on the list. "Don't call me an EYE-TALIAN you EYE-DIOT".

So let's review...

Chipotle = CH-POAT-LAY

Italian = EH-TAL-YAN (eh-talian)

We really have GOT TO DO BETTER.

Next week...we're going to address this EYE-RACK thing.

Fix it Jesus.

BTW if you feel attacked and I have to explain to you that this is satire and was done tongue in cheek, you're probably pronouncing Chipotle and Italian wrong and should seek professional help. Lighten up Karen.

MORE: Things You Shouldn't Say To Michiganders

40 Michigan Towns With Names Even Life-Long Michiganders Can't Pronounce



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