This story is about soap and is no way an analogy or metaphor for anything else.

I am a dirty bastard. All my life, I have been a messy slob. It drives the women in my life crazy. I get grease, sticky stuff and adhesives all over me. Sometimes my fingers get black as dark soil from all the crap I make them do. For as long as I can remember, my go to soap for scrubbing off the sin was Lava.


It's an old bar soap. I kept mine in the window sill until it peeled away some paint. My wife, in all of her genius, thought it would be a good idea to get a soap tray. We got one but then, I couldn't find the soap anymore. I went shopping and asked a stocker where it was. "We don't carry it anymore." I was bummed.

Then, as I was rummaging through the automotive center, I found a pile and bought it all. That was before the pandemic. Now, here is sit with my last bar of Lava soap.

Lava last

It's the end of an era. Or so I thought. I was looking in the same section I found the Lava, hoping to strike gold again but my prayers went unanswered. Instead, I came across the Fast Orange.

Fast Orange

I would just like to point out, the Lava soap has Made in the USA written on it. The Fast Orange has some foreign language on there.

I first tried it and loved the smell. Noticed right away it wasn't nearly as messy or wasteful as the bar of Lava. Once you wash your hands with Lava and put it down, the side you put down loses it's Lava power. Fast Orange didn't do that. You just pump what you need.

I'll buy the Lava whenever I see it again... Just to support America. But the new soap has surprised me so far. It has replaced the legend. Not everyone will like washing their hands in it right away but you will grow to like it eventually.

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