For as long as I can remember, I have been abusing caffeine. I know, it's legal and a lot of people do it but it was starting to affect my health. For the longest time, I thought "I HAD" to have it to perform and do shows... Just to survive. Boy, was I wrong.

I remember being at church and making cups of coffee. I hated the way it tasted, I always had to poop after but I loved that buzz. As a kid, I  found pop was the quickest and most painless way of injecting it into my system. I would say for around 30 years, I had to have some form of caffeine or I would get a pounding headache.

A few years ago, I came down with IBS and began having major anxiety. I changed my diet, changed some of my habits but I never even considered caffeine even though every doctor and my wife were telling me it might be that. Finally, a few weeks ago... I had an anxiety attack. The worst one ever. I tried but I just couldn't drink my coffee. For days, I would just dump it out after the show. Then, it got to be a week before I realized it. Now, i am about 2 weeks off coffee and facing my biggest challenge today. Drag ass. No sleep.

If I get a headache, I'll take some caffeine headache pill. I don't NEED caffeine. I am NOT saying I will never do caffeine again. BUT the me abusing it daily because I think it makes me better, that is over. That addictive mentality is gone.

I said to Deb- "It's strange not shaking all the time."

She said "I can't believe how calm you are."

NO ONE HAS EVER SAID THAT TO ME.