There is a huge difference between being sad and being depressed. Last week, my sadness lead to depression. It was all self inflicted and I hope someone learns from my stupid ass.

I have been sharing the blessing of being able to garden with my Nugget. First, planting. Then, checking out the grow. While we were out there taking the pictures, I saw some fire ants crawling up my daughters leg. I knocked them off.

After we gave her a bath and put her to bed, I went back out and sprayed for ants... At least I thought. My father in-law brought me over a Minute Maid bottle with fluid in it. It was unmarked. I swear he told me it was for the ants. Well, I sprayed and it killed everything it touched. It had to be round up.

I was devastated when I woke up to see these HUGE pumpkin leaves all folded over and yellow. Even while I was spraying I thought, maybe this isn't what I think it is. I probably would have been a bit safer. I wouldn't have killed about 75 percent of my garden, that is for sure.

Either way, the lesson is: Never assume. Always know what you are spraying on something so important. We can grow again next year. But the thrill of getting up everyday, tending to the garden and the sense of optimism is gone for this year.

But next year, we are going for a raised garden! Guess I can start that now.

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