I'll Take Mystery Meat For A Hundred Alex

There is an isle in your grocery store.

In that isle there are canned goods (and I'm using the word goods very loosely here).

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Somewhere between Vienna sausages and Spam is this "gray" area of canned (spreadable) meat products.

To be clear, we're not talking about corned beef hash here. That is totally in bounds and acceptable.

And for some reason, Spam really gets a bad rap as mystery meat. But next to this, Spam is almost filet mignon.

No ladies and gentlemen. This right here absolutely qualifies as (and definitely defines) mystery meat.

I would like to introduce you to...POTTED MEAT.

You've seen the can above, but to truly appreciate this abomination you've got to take a peek under the hood.

SupaFlyFatGuy859 via YouTube
SupaFlyFatGuy859 via YouTube

And if you could smell it through your device right now you'd shut down the app, close the screen, run, do whatever you had to do to get away from it.

And yet as a child when I grew up in Mississippi, I ate this stuff all the time. Even tried to make it fancy and mix it up like tuna fish.

What was I thinking?!?

Childhood Food Trauma, Party of One

We were talking today about foods you ate as a kid, but once you grew up you thought were gross.

People called in and told stories of Now & Laters, Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum, Little Debbie Snack Cakes and so on.

It's the potted meat for me though.

It's gritty, smelly, and salty.

Gross is an understatement but I used to love it as a kid.

And it even had an ugly step cousin I used to eat and enjoy as well. Who remembers this guy? Underwood Deviled Ham and Chicken Spread.

It was FANCY because it was a SPREAD and the can came wrapped in paper. Still gross.

But the Armour Potted Meat?!? Bruh.

Struggle meal approved.

I'm not alone. And the internet agrees. Spreadable meat = no Bueno. The closest thing to human dog food I could imagine.

I'll take SPAM any day over it my friends. Any day.

You need a tutorial on how to make a sandwich out of it?

Here's a handy video. Enjoy.

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